Graduate Life

On Sunday, my commencement speaker said all of the stereotypical things: "Congratulations, graduates," "Your liberal arts education will prove to be incredibly valuable," "Go change the world," blah blah blah.

What he didn't, but should have, said was: "Get ready for this next transition during which time you live at your parents' house and sit on your computer and read all day, because you will feel useless, lazy, and like a loser."

It's funny how being the depths and throes of a challenging and stressful semester, the end seemingly out of sight, will prompt one to want nothing more than a damn break. All I wanted was to be done, free... graduated. Now that it has been a week since my final final, I want nothing more than a schedule, a routine, a reason to leave the house. 

As a college graduate, I have to worry about obtaining a "real" full time job that will sustain me for at least a year. No more "summer jobs" or "little part time jobs." Because I am hoping to stick with the school district (in order to keep my fun, decent-paying part time job with the school district), whatever this job may be won't begin until the fall. And I have made the decision to not actively look for a summer job until I find a slightly more permanent job for September. This means I only work... on Fridays. 

Thus the completion of two novels in the past week. So, yay! There's positive outcome of being semi-jobless at your parents' house...

Holy god was this book fantastic. 

I may be one of the last book lovers in the world to have read this one, but for some reason I never did. I'm not quite sure why its genre is Young Adult because it certainly grapples with serious topics. And also? Let me just point out that teenagers are the ones who are mostly currently reading classic "adult" novels like Gatsby and The Catcher in the Rye. 

Anyway, there are a lot of things I like about this book, but one of those things is that it constantly brought my attention to the complete bullshit that I've always thought Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs to be. Like, as humans, there may be times of hunger, or thirst, or lack of shelter, and in some cases these times are long periods with inadequate amounts of these purportedly "basic needs." But, as humans, these "basic needs" do not have to be fulfilled for us to need the fulfillment of friendship, love... intellectual fulfillment. I have never had the misfortune of having my "basic needs" fail to be met over long periods of time, but we've reached a point in time in which a thirst for knowledge is imperative. If this weren't the case, we wouldn't have awesome organizations like the Book Wish Foundation, arranging to establish libraries in refugee camps. Refugees in Chad and elsewhere have daily struggles that I could never imagine, BUT THEY STILL REQUEST BOOKS AND KNOWLEDGE. I think that speaks to both the resilience and and ambition of the human race.

Sure, The Book Thief is a story about a young German girl in Nazi Germany. Many stories are. But among other things, it's also about the power of words. As someone with a thirst for knowledge and a passion for both the spoken and written word, that part of the story spoke to me.

Graduating and Reading

Today I finished my FINAL (undergraduate) final. Yay! It feels so good, but it is also kind of scary.

The best thing about graduating from college: graduating from college.

The worst thing about graduating from college: the panic attack that ensues concerning, like, getting a grown-up job and stuff. So it goes...

Anyway, at some point I stopped caring about studying (I put my trust in my lasting knowledge from the past four years- it was a more than adequate strategy by the way!) and made a trip to Half Price Book (oh how I love that store). It's probably one of my favorite places to be because 1) Half Price = new books! 2) it's next to a Caribou, and 3) it's next to a Panera. It's like a trifecta of awesome.

I still love my Kindle, don't get me wrong, but damn. There's something to be said about actual physical books. I also have a dream to have a HUGE kick-ass cataloged home library, so I better start now. :) So I brought a stack of dumb books I had acquired mostly during my teen years and got a measly $9 for them, which I used to go toward my purchase. I got six new books and I can't wait to read them ALL (and then some) this summer!

The first book completion of summer is Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut.

Holy wow, where has Kurt Vonnegut been all my life? I mean, I wouldn't call it my favorite book of all time, but it is certainly thought provoking, and while I read I was all like, "WTF is this business? What is happening?" and it was so peculiar that I couldn't help but keep reading. I will definitely be picking up some more Vonnegut novels.

Sometimes I wish I had been an English major. Not really, but just so I could have been inherently and necessarily exposed to so many classics, some of which I probably won't be otherwise. I have a newfound interest in the classics because, like, they're classics for a reason. Many of them have been around and relevant for many many years, and I want to see what all the hype is about, I guess. Some of them, I'm like, "eh, alright, I guess I get it," but some of them I'm like, "ALSDKFJASLDKJFASKJD NO WONDER." I want to experience more of that. :)

Book #6 (yay!) and more dieting fails

Well, so, dieting never happened. I'm still a vegetarian, though! Which is pretty impressive. I've gone without a big juicy burger for almost three months.

Vegetarian triumph: I have kept off the 5 pounds I lost when I was actively dieting.

Vegetarian fail: The above is impressive (I would even say miraculous) because sometimes it feels like all I eat is junk food, cheese, and carbs... and eggs. I eat more veggies than I did as a carnivore, but not nearly as much as a vegetarian probably should. I need to work on that.

The cool thing, though, is that, while I celebrated a friend's birthday at Pizza Luce, ALL FOOD was conveniently 0 calories! ;)

Anyway, school/senior/graduating stresses + a long (yet successful!) speech season with the high school kids = NO READING FOR ME, EVER.

BUT, I did manage to slack off and do the senior slide thing long enough to read The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald, of course.

I've been meaning to read this one for years! And in my endeavor to tackle as many "classics" as I could, I finally got to it. Actually, my brother was reading it for his 11th grade English class. And I was like, "I'm gonna read this before you have to bring it back to school, okay? Okay." I read it in just a couple days.

It was pretty great! Probably not in my Top Ten, but definitely in, like, my top 20? I love the whole Green Light metaphor and the Life Goes On idea.

I will say, I'm ready for a couple more modern reads again. My friend is starting a book club- one book a month with wine at the end to discuss. :) Excited to find out what our first book will be!

Also, dieting?

Not in my list of things I have the self-motivation or self-control for at the moment. So, not only am I an unhappy camper. I am an overweight unhappy camper.

I miss my books :(

Speech will be over in approximately six days. I love coaching, but I also love my free time.

Then there's school. That, I don't love. Graduation is in approximately one month, at which time I will have time to read books. Lots and lots of books. I will be one happy camper. Until then, I am a sad camper.

Diet Fails and Triumphs: Update 1

I'm not sure what the secret is to following all dieting rules all the time, but I think it's pretty clear that I have NOT found it... 

I've made myself some "food rules" in addition to my 1200 net calories per day limit. Basically things like only one soda a day, only one treat a day, work out at least three days a week, etc. One huge change I have made to my diet came about after watching a documentary called "Forks Over Knives." It turns out that meat has way more protein than we actually need, and that societies who eat a ton of meat have much higher prevalence of heart disease, cancer, and other major health problems. They advocate for a completely plant-based, whole foods diet. I can't go that far, but I have completely cut meat out of my diet. I still eat fish, but (unless it's all in my head and, like, the placebo effect), I feel so much better. Meat makes me feel full and bloated and I haven't felt that way in the past month or so (which is how long I've been eating vegetarian meals).

Based on the last time I stepped on the scale, things are actually going pretty well. I've lost 4.5 pounds which is actually super impressive. I did pretty well for a while. I went to the gym, I followed my food rules, and I was feeling great. 

Last week, all started going to hell. A new week's assignment started for my "Couch to 5K" running program and it KICKED MY ASS. I went the first day and barely made it through the workout. The second day, it was even more rough so I just walked until I burned a couple hundred calories. Then I skipped the third day and haven't gone since. My excuse is that it's midterm week and "I have no time." UGH.

Then... a ridiculous two-day, 20-hour speech tournament happened. They provide all food for coaches/judges. All the sweets/treats were so yummy and they didn't really have low-cal options. I was all ready to get back into the groove when... let's just say I got to the point in the month where I want to EAT ALL OF THE FOOD. And that happened. Also, stress from midterms.

Here's to getting back on track and getting the courage to step back on the scale and assess the damage... 

Weight Loss

My mom is a damn good cook.

Which can be dangerous.

Actually, the meals she cooks us are mostly very healthy, but they're so good, I normally want second and third helpings. Also, all the snack food she buys for my dad and brother taunts me 24/7. I'm a choco-maniac, so the cookies, doughnuts, etc. ALWAYS find their way into my mouth.

When I was at my apartment, I was doing a pretty decent job at dieting. I ended up losing somewhere between 10 and 15 pounds because, if I wasn't supposed to eat it, I just didn't have it in the kitchen. I was in full control over what foods I made available to me. Now that I'm living at home, I can't just not have junk food in the house. My mom buys a TON of healthy things- all fresh vegetables, tons of fruit, whole wheat bread... But that stuff doesn't sound very good when there's a cupboard full of chocolate.

I joined a gym and did pretty well at going three to four times a week... for about a month. Then the last couple weeks I've sort of fell off the wagon. Last week, I went once or twice. This week, I haven't gone at all. It's so easy to say "forget it." It's funny how quickly I forget how good it makes me feel after even just 30 minutes on the treadmill.

I need to get better at both these things. I can't just eat tons of junk food and not go to a gym I'm paying for for the next five or so months I live here. I would really like to feel great about my health this summer (when one has to wear less clothing).

So, as a last-ditch effort, I will be blogging about my workouts and dieting once a week as an attempt to feel perhaps some accountability. And maybe blogging about The Struggle (because it will be one) will help too? Wishful thinking.

So here we go- maybe my next post will have good news!